Wii Fit Trainer vs Coach

Wii Fit Trainer vs Coach is Peep4Life's two hundred and thirty-ninth DBX!

Description
''Season 16 Episode 14! Wii Fit vs Left 4 Dead! Wii Fit Trainer challenges Coach with only his fitness in mind. Will this battle be the workout she foresaw? ''

Intro
NO RULES 

JUST BLOODSHED

DBX

Fight
Coach stood in a living room in front of a Nintendo Wii. He had been playing Wii Fit, looking to lose some of the weight he had put on after his injury. "Oof." Coach complained, clutching his side after a second of yoga mode. He then caught a whiff of something and walked over to his window, noticing a Burger Tank across the street. "Mmmhmm. I'mma be a one man cheeseburger apocalypse." he turned back around, only to see someone stood in his living room. "What? Well I'll be your monkey's uncle!" he protested, staring at the intruder. It was, of course, Wii Fit Trainer and she wasn't happy with Coach's easily distracted mind. "Let's work on toning that tummy." she stated, smiling and flexing out in a pose.

Coach's eyes widened in disbelief. "Oh, excuse me? EXCUSE ME?" he began, offended. Coach marched past her and kicked the Wii Balance Board aside, but just as he grabbed for the handle of the door, Wii Fit Trainer headed a football at him. "Umph!" Coach grunted, hitting his front on the door. He turned around bearing his fists. Realising the threat to her health, Wii Fit Trainer immediately began charging up Sun Salutation. "Ah hell. This ain't gonna be good." Coach whined.

'''Here we go! '''

Before Coach could do anything, the projectile caught him right in the chest. "GAH!" he cried, hitting his back on the wall. The Wii Fit Trainer smiled. "That's right, feel the burn!" she stated as Coach got back up. The survivor made a break for his kitchen, where he grabbed a pan from the cupboard. When he turned around, Wii Fit Trainer had just picked up the Wii Balance Board. She threw it right at Coach, who dodged it. The board smashed into the fridge, damaging the door of it. "There's gonna be some biblical shit happenin' to you if you do that again." Coach warned, as he made his way toward her. He swung with the pan, but the much more agile trainer ducked and then drove her feet up into his chin. "Oof." She then appeared behind him, and began twisting his arm nearly out of his sockets. "Stretch those shoulders!" she said, this time with a more nasty undertone. Coach yelled in pain, but managed to thrust his large behind backwards and into the trainer's stomach, knocking her off him. He then turned around and clonked her over the head with the skillet. "HOW'D THAT FEEL, HUH?" Coach roared triumphantly, as he chased the retreating trainer out of the building and into the streets. He clattered her in the back and the head until she eventually used her athleticism to leap onto a bus roof.

She then headed down a football at him, which he deflected away with the pan. But the trainer wasn't to be defeated by Coach's defence. She jumped up, and charged up another projectile. "Sun Salutation!" she cried, throwing down the blast of energy at Coach. The survivor this time rushed forward, closing down Wii Fit Trainer and preventing her from doing much more damage. He swung at her legs with the pan, but she obnoxiously somersaulted over him and kicked him in the knees. Coach fell on his front, and Wii Fit Trainer dropped on her hands in a planking posture. "Don't let your bottom stick out..." she taunted, really infuriating Coach. "MOTHERF-" he yelled, before being cut off with a knee to the face. The trainer then momentarily trapped him in the ground with her punch and kick combo. Coach wriggled around, but the trainer stood over him. With his own pan no less. "Ah hell. This ain't gonna be good." Wii Fit Trainer swung for the fences with the pan, playing a rigged game of whack-a-mole on Coach's head. "UUUUUEEEEEEEAAAAAGGHHHH!" Coach howled as the skillet bounced off his head.

By the time she was through, the pan was dented by Coach's head. Coach was dizzied, among other things, and wondered the street- propping himself up on a nearby car. "Shit!" he cried, as Wii Fit Trainer kicked him in the back of the knee. She then grabbed his shoulders, and lifted him in the air. "It ain't right for a man to be- GAH!" he complained, suffering a headbutt that sent him barrelling into the door of Burger Tank. Coach fled inside, but Wii Fit Trainer happily gave chase. She followed him inside, only to see that she had lost track of him. She wondered around the restaurant, before resting her chin on her hand. Puzzled. Until the person reading the newspaper behind her lowered his paper, and raised the sample tray over his head. "HRUGH! GYUH!" Coach growled, going to town on Wii Fit Trainer's back with the food tray. He then punched Wii Fit Trainer right across the face, stunning her for a moment. But by the time Coach threw his next big attack, Wii Fit Trainer had kicked him right out of the window.

Coach hobbled away again, this time toward a small fairground. Again Wii Fit Trainer followed. "Let's get a good rhythm going." she suggested, leaping in front of Coach and clattering him with a nearby bat. Coach staggered toward a carnival stand and grabbed the nearest item. He immediately turned and bashed it into Wii Fit Trainer's face. With the trainer dropped, Coach actually had a moment to see what the item was. "Goddamn!" he exclaimed, realising it was none other than Gnome Chompski. He put the gnome back in its place and picked up Wii Fit Trainer by the head. He then force fed her all the junk food he could find. "Cotton Candy: The King of Foods! Peach Cobbler. Cheeseburger. Cheeseburger. Pizza. Cheeseburger." All the food immediately took a toll and before she knew it, Wii Fit Trainer was larger than even Coach. "Oh shit yeah..." Coach said, laughing. He then grabbed a Chrome Shotgun from behind one of the carnival stands. "ROLY POLY!" he cried, before firing right into her chest. Coach then moved toward the food court, and grabbed as many burgers as he could. "Cheese Burger apocalypse..."

DBX

Conclusion
And the winner is: Coach!