Torbjörn vs Hector

(This installment of DBX pits Torbjörn from the Overwatch series against Hector of the Fire Emblem series)

NO RULES

JUST BLOODSHED

DBX

(Torbjörn is in his workshop constructing a new turret when he notices he has run out of building material.)

Torbjörn: Blast! I need more scrap metal, but all the hardware stores are closed at this hour.

(Torbjörn steps out of his workshop and walks the streets searching for more scrap metal. Suddenly, he hears a large metallic "clank", which he immediately recognizes as the sound of a hammer striking hot steel.)

Torbjörn: Aye, the sweet sounds of a screaming anvil! I'm sure the forgers within can lend me some material.

(Torbjörn fearlessly walks into the splendid castle from which he heard the sound. The noise grows louder as Torbjörn continues to wander the magnificent halls.)

Torbjörn: Perhaps I need to spend more time upgrading my home than my turrets.

(Torbjörn opens one of the many doors and finds Eirika and Ephraim practicing their sword fighting.)

Eirika: Not bad, brother, but be sure to grip the handle more comfortably. Grasping it too tight can throw off your swing.

(Eirika approaches a practice dummy and quickly cuts the head off with one swing of her rapier.)

Torbjörn: Aye... better not ask them for help.

(Torbjörn shuts the door loudly. Eirika and Ephraim hear the slam and turn to the door.)

Ephraim: What do you suppose that was?

Eirika: Whatever it is, our training is more important. The battle is tomorrow. I'm confident our guards can handle the situation.

Ephraim: You're right. Let us continue, dear sister.

(Torbjörn continues to walk as the clanging stops. He realizes that to find the scrap metal, he must ask for help. He opens another door and finds a beautiful woman within the adjacent room.)

Torbjörn: Aye, sweet lass! Could you kindly point me in the direction of the armory? I have a need for spare metal parts.

Camilla: (seductively) Absolutely, tiger. You want to turn left from here, and then pass through the corridor until you get to the glass chandelier, then it's the third door to your right.

Torbjörn: Many thanks, you divine creation!

Camilla: My pleasure.

(Torbjörn slams the door once more. Eirika and Ephraim come running into Camilla's room after a brief pause.)

Eirika: Camilla, we hesrd your door slam. Was the disturbance here?

Camilla: Yes. An ugly, stout gentleman with a dreadful beard walked into my room. I gave him the directions to Hector's room. He'll take care of our little problem.

Ephraim: Wait, couldn't you have just fought him?

Camilla: Of course not! I just did my nails. And besides, Hecotr's stronger than all three of us put together. He shouldn't have any problem dealing with dwarves.

Ephraim: I suppose you're right. Come on, Eirika, let us resume our training.

Eirika: Okay, brother.

(Torbjörn follows the directions given to him, right to Hector's door. He walks in and sees a magnificent wall of axes, lances and armor.)

Torbjörn: Astounding! I would never have to go to the hardware store again if I could get all the scrap metal these weapons produced!

???: I only see one piece of garbage here.

(Torbjörn turns to see an armored guard wielding a large axe.)

Hector: You're not welcome in our castle. I suggest you leave now, or suffer the consequences.

Torbjörn: Easy, lad! I'm not here to intrude! I just want to take some building material and be on my way!

Hector: You'll be on your way to hell after I'm through with you.

Torbjörn: Well, I suppose we'll have to do this the hard way.

(Torbjörn pulls out his gun-hammer.)

Torbjörn: I'm getting as much scrap metal as I need. The steel from your armor will do nicely after I pry it off your corpse.

HERE WE GOOO!