User blog:Hipper/Epic Crap Battles: Hank Hill vs Akuma

Welcome back to another episode of Epic Crap Battles. We apologize for the hiatus, but we're happy to bring you our next battle. Today, we have the most powerful Street Fighter Akuma battling against the Propane and Propane Accessories salesman Hank Hill. This'll be a match of the milennium.

Intro
EPIC CRAP BATTLES

HANK HILL

VS

AKUMA

BEGIN

Akuma
I am Akuma! I shall teach you the meaning of pain!

I'm an unstoppable fighting machine while you're just an idiot addicted to propane!

You can't escape this verbal beatdown, Hank! You're gonna have to Dale with it this time!

I've destroyed islands with my punches! You aren't getting out of here alive!

The chances of you beating me are about as narrow as your urethra!

Now stand still punk! It's time for you to feel the Wrath of The Raging Demon!

Hank Hill
Those disses were awful! They're worse than the junk Bobby listens to!

I have an addiction to propane? At least I don't waste my entire life stalking Ryu!

You may be the Master of the Fist, but I'm the King of the Hill.

Shoot all those weak Hadokens you want; I've seen more powerful flames come from my grill!

Now listen, if you wanna catch a fish, you must think like a fish.

So if I wanna beat you, that must mean I've gotta think like a bitch.

Akuma
That's it! You've just pissed me off, fool! I'll turn you into breakfast!

I'll verbally diss you with my fists that'll Ultra Combo you straight out of Texas!

You call yourself a king? I hope you enjoy being overthrown!

And the only thing that's more Pro-Painful than listening to you rap is watching an episode of your show!

Your voice puts people to sleep, you're like an even more boring version of Seth!

It's time to end this battle once and for all! Die One Thousand Deaths!

Hank Hill
You're calling me boring? You just earned yourself an ass kicking!

The only thing this Demon's gonna be Raging about is when he finds who's actually winning!

We live in a real community here. Your fighting in the streets would never make it to Arlen.

Quit talking so highly about yourself! You're just a black and red recolor of Ryu and Ken!

Shin Akuma? Oni? How many super forms do you really need?

Go back to fighting hobos, you homeless bum. I'll be here selling propane and propane accessories.

Outro
WHO WON

WHO'S NEXT?

YOU DECIDE

Poll
Who won? Akuma Hank Hill