User blog:Hipper/Epic Crap Battles: Woody vs Bowser

In today's beautiful rap battle, we have cowboy sheriff doll and protagonist of the Toy Story movies Woody rapping against heavyweight Koopa king and princess stealing antagonist of the Mario games Bowser. This is gonna be a sight to behold.

Intro
EPIC CRAP BATTLES OF HISTORY

WOODY

VS

BOWSER

BEGIN

Bowser
You think you can compare to me? Your chances of winning are Lightyears away!

I'll steal your wimpy sherrif star and break you more than I break Mario's Parties!

I've got an entire army! Who do you have; a talking pig bank and some spaceman named Buzz?

By the time I'm done with them, they'll have their parts popped like Potato Head does!

Quit making your awful movies; you're nothing more than just another pointless Disney brand!

With a gang so small and pathetic, I could take you all out with just one hand!

Woody
You just messed with the wrong cowboy; shouldn't have stepped up to my bed.

Sacrificing your children to fight some random plumber? Even Utility Belt Buzz had a better dad.

Without Kamek, you're bare bones like Dry Bones! I'll drop harder Bomb-Ombs on you than your ground pounds!

Those Lost Levels you made must've been pretty good; an actual decent plan of yours is never gonna be found!

I'll traumatize you more than I did to Sid, prepare to feel this toy's wrath!

Call me the lava bridge, because you're about to get the axe!

Bowser
Graw haw haw! You call that a verse? Learn to spit some real bars!

Your rapping's the worst thing to come out of Pixar since the creation of Cars!

I'll end this Toy's Story if he tries to Melee; one punch will end this Brawl!

You could barely survive getting your arm torn off! How do you expect to beat my fireballs?

I'm packing Koopa muscles here! I'll throw you around like a rag doll and crush you on the ground! I may drive a floating copter, but you're the real Koopa Clown!

Talk all the trash that you want!; Once I grab you with my Side B your chances of winning are GOING DOWN!

Woody
Your family is a complete mess! How do you have 8 kids but no sign of a spouse?

Your fights are more predictable than a Dreamworks movie! I can see through your tactics like a Ghost House!

I don't need to beat you in combat! I've already won, unlike you I actually have a game!

Look Junior, you're not that Super. You had to let yourself get beat up by two plumbers to even get a glimpse of fame!

You actually think you're scary? All it takes is getting thrown by the tail to end your battle!

I'll blow your Spiny Shell to the Galaxy's Seven Stars with an RPG! See you in another castle!

Outro
WHO WON?

WHO'S NEXT?

YOU DECIDE!

Poll
Who won? Bowser Woody