Wario vs. Tingle

Description
Which greedy ne'er-do-well can out thief the other?

Who do you think will win? Wario Tingle

Intro
NO RULES

JUST BLOODSHED

DBX

Fight
Deep in a cave, there is a bunch of rupees gathered around. Crates are filled to the point that they're close to bursting, and there's a giant rupee shining like a diamond in the middle of the crates. There are two caverns leading from the surface to the rupees. From one, a fat man drives a motorcycle down into the chamber. From the other, a man wearing green spandex floats down with a balloon. These were Wario and Tingle respectively. The two were so money hungry, they didn't even notice each other. All of their attention was on the rupees. Both of their eyes seemed to flash with a dollar sign.

Wario got off of his bike, and began to walk towards the giant rupee. The two approached, each making grabbing motions. The two touched, and realized they were both after the same thing. Wario and Tingle looked each other in the eye, and began to get angry. They leapt away from the rupee, the two glaring at each other.

Wario: Wario, the legend!

Wario flexed.

Tingle: Tingle-Tingle-Kooloo-Limpah!

Tingle held out his wallet, which was bulging with sharp rupees.

From Rumbles to Riches, Fight!
Tingle immediately begun by swinging his wallet down at Wario. The yellow fighter clapped his hands together, catching the wallet mid-swing. He pulled Tingle close enough to shoulder tackle the fairy-man. Tingle flew back, but kept an iron grip on his wallet. This caused him to fly back towards Wario, who delivered a haymaker to him.

Tingle strained, and managed to yank the wallet out of Wario's grip. He immediately swung at the brute, striking the top of Wario's head with several hard rupees. Wario's mind was 90% focusing on the pain racking through his skull. The other 10% focused on how much moola was in this sack.

Wario shook off the hit and shoulder bashed the map maker away. While he was recovering from the hit, Wario ran up and grabbed him. He began shaking, Tingle getting exceedingly dizzy. While he shook, some rupees fell out of Tingle's wallet. Wario needed as much of these jewels as he could. He kept on shaking Tingle. And rupees came pouring out. When the pile began to look as big as the pile of rupees in the middle of the cave, he tossed Tingle away.

His pupils seemed to change to dollar signs as he picked up the rupees. Tingle slammed against the ceiling, and shook off the cobwebs in his head, and scanned his pockets. Upon realizing he lost hundreds of rupees, he began to seethe with rage. Wario's attention was pulled away from the opponent, and he ran to the pile of rupees and began pocketing each one. Tingle, meanwhile, reached into his wallet to pull out a handful of rupees.

Wario was pocketing some purple, blue, and orange rupees, when he was suddenly struck in the noggin by a handful of colorful rupees. Wario rubbed his aching forehead. However, more rupees began flying his way. Several rupees missed, but Wario felt several gems scrape by him. Wario began to run back, evading the rupees. He couldn't even believe that he was being forced to run from money. Wario was also considering the fact that Tingle seemed to have an unlimited supply of rupees.

Wario then began to think how he could fight with money too! For a brief moment there was a break in Tingle's stream of rupees. He tried to search his wallet for more, but Wario lifted the giant rupee. He cackled evily as he held it over his head, and Tingle's eyes bulged out of his head comically.

Wario got ready to swing, and Tingle leapt away, barely dodging Wario's swing of the rupee. He flailed his arms as he ran from Wario, who threateningly and loudly held the rupee and prepared to strike him again. He swung, and Tingle leapt ahead of it, barely avoiding the sharp edge of the rupee. He squealed out of fear as he ran from Wario. Wario swung the rupee one last time, and was surprised to see the fairy man had disappeared. He looked left and right, and didn't realize that Tingle held onto the end of the rupee.

He searched around his pack for something. Wario was still looking around wildly, when Tingle found what he was looking for. With a mischievous twinkle in his eye, Tingle pulled out a golden statue of himself. Wario finally looks up, just in time to see several tons of gold coming straight for his face. He screamed out before he was completely squashed by the statue.

The rupee fell down when he was flattened, and Tingle stumbled off of it and fell onto the ground. He got up to his feet and looked down at where Wario stood, which was no replaced with a few tons of gold. He danced around victoriously.