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It's General Slayer vs General! When the bane of the Devil King's forces takes on the Empire's most powerful general, who will win and who will die?

Ready, set DIE!-Fight[]

"Oi, Aqua, what quest did you accept?" Kazuma Satou, the pathetic, shut-in, perverted NEET asked his useless goddess companion, who held a ominous piece of paper in her left hand, and her mystical staff in the other.

"Well, Some girl with white hair and an eye patch offered us a bunch of money to kill this general, so i took the quest." The goddess answered. Kazuma began to feel uneasy.

"And how much did she offer you?"

"200 million eris."

"That much?! To kill some measly general?! Let's do it!" Kazuma shouted, having no clue what he'd just gotten himself into.

"Darkness! Megumin! We have a quest!" Kazuma shouted from the guild hall's quest board.

A blonde and busty crusder looked up from thier table, and a young girl with short black hair and an oversized witch's hat looked up as well.

The crusader was Lalatina "Darkness" Dustiness, a masochistic crusader with a great figure and durability, but terrible accuracy, even with basic sword swings.

And the girl with the witch hat was none other than Megumin, the flat chested crimson demon with an intense love of Explosion Magic. Which she could only use once a day.

"Oh? What are we going to do today? More Frog hunting?" Darkness asked, blushing at the mere memory of being coated in frog slime...

"No. Today, we're going to fight an evil general! (I assume they're evil at least)" Kazuma shouted the first part, then mumbling the second part under his breath.

And thus, the party set out, to kill the the general who was indeed evil, Esdeath.

It wasn't hard to find her. The poster had an image of her face of on it, and the very second the crew left the guild hall, they spotted her on a bench, eating an ice cream cone.

"Man...she's hot." Kazuma thought to himself, taking in the general's form. A fair face, large chest, shapely hips and bright blue hair.  Kazuma now wished he didn't have to kill her. (He'd try, at least)

"Hey! You're General Esdeath, right?" Kazuma shouted across the street, the general looking up from her ice cream and acknowledging the green claocked adventurer and his party.

"I am. What do you want?" She called back.

"I've accepted a quest to kill you." He called back. With those words, the entire street traffic stopped and turned to look at Kazuma and Co.

"Fuf Fu Fu. Is that so? Well then, you'd better not disappoint me." Esdeath said as she tossed the ice cream cone aside.

β–Ίγ‚’γ‚«γƒ‘γŒζ–¬γ‚‹!_Akame_ga_Kill_-_06_Jaegers_OSTβ—„_(1080p).mp4

β–Ίγ‚’γ‚«γƒ‘γŒζ–¬γ‚‹! Akame ga Kill - 06 Jaegers OSTβ—„ (1080p).mp4

HERE WE GO!!!!!!!!

Kazuma barely had time to blink as Esdeath rushed across street, landing a solid kick to Kazuma's mid-section, the NEET grunted in pain and then fell to the ground, landing in a heap. Esdeath clicked her tongue in annoyance. She had hoped that he was stronger. Aqua and Darkness let out a high pitched battle cry and assualted the blue haired general as best they could, Darkness's first slash missed. She had swung right, but her blade ha dother ideas, swingin in an counter clockwsie direction, instead smacking Megumin in the head with the flat of the blade, laying the crimson demon flat out on the ground. Esdeath stood there stunned as she caught Aqua's punch with some difficulty, then flipping the goddess into the ground with a mere twicth of her wrist.

"Did...did you mean to do that?" Esdeath asked, genuienly intrested by Darkness's failed attack. Whatever reply Darkness was going to make was interupted by a surprised grunt from Esdeath as she felt a hand on her thigh, just above her skirt line. She looked down and looked at Kazuma with a look that was a mixture of amusement and disgust.

"Getting handsy?"

"Drain Touch!" Kazuma shouted, squeezing her thigh for punctuation.

Bright purple energy began to flow from Esdeath's thigh to Kazuma's hand, The general being slightly taken aback by the rather great stamina drain that had begun to take effect.

After another second of being drained, Esdeath shook Kazuma's hand off by stomping on his other hand. Darkness took another swing, and ended up stabbing herself in the toe with her sword.

Esdeath looked confused again and decided to end the fight now. She punched Darkness in the chest, shattering her chest plate with a single punch. Darkness cried out in...pleasure?!!!!!

Disgusted, Esdeath moved backwards, elbowing Kazuma in the face as she moved back, stopping him from getting up once more.

"So this is why the reward was so high!" Kazuma  realized as his face hit the cobble stone once more. The NEET had also realized that a full on attack wasn't going to work, now casting a new skill: Lurk. Kazuma disappeared as if he was a shadow and began to sneak around.

"You. Woman. Did my attack..turn you on?"

"No!"

"Then why are you breathing and blushing like you are?" 

As Darkness began to think of a response, she was now interupted by Kazuma once more, as he swung his sword at Esdeath, having snuck up on her from behind. Esdeath ducked under the attack without looking behind her and then stood back up, slamming Kazuma in the face with the back of her head. Kazuma shouted and pushed through the pain, managing to lay his finger on the back of Esdeath's neck

"Freeze!" He shouted, shooting icy wind at Esdeath's neck, in an attempt to break her composere.

It wasn't very effective.

She didn't even flinch as she spun around and belted him in the gut with a punch.

"You're pathetic! I haven't even had to draw my sword in thsi fight! Who on earth would higher a weakling like yourself?!" Esdeath shouted in annoyance.

Kazuma began to grin. He had a plan.

Esdeath was even more annoyed now. Her opponent was clearly weaker that her, but he was still acting smug. Why was that? He must have had something planned.

"Now, Darkness!" Kazuma shouted. The crusader responded by tackleing Esdeath to the ground, effectivly managing to pin her.

"Megumin! Use Explosion! Darkness can survive it!" Kazuma shouted at the witch who had just now managed to stand up.

Start_a_Riot

Start a Riot

"With crimson flames I command you! Blow away my foes, greatest of all magic...EXPLOSION!!!" Megumin shouted, pouring all of her mana into her attack.

Several large circles that radiated power appeared over Esdeath and Darkness. Kazuma began running away, as a massive column of bright orange and red fire blasted down from the sky, then hitting Esdeath and Darkness at full force!

The destruction was great. The town had been blown away, nothing was left other than a steaming crater. This was the power of the mighty Explosion magic.

Kazuma looked up. He figured Esdeath was dead. There was no way that she was still alive. Nothing had ever survived Explosion magic, other than Darkness.

"Fu Fu Fu. Now THAT'S the strength I'd expected. It's nice to know that at least one of your team mates has power at thier disposale. Too bad it wasn't enough." Esdeath said clamly stepping out from behind a bit of steam.

Esdeath unsheated her sword, and began to walk towards Kazuma, who quickly drew his short katana again.

"Damn it! How'd she survive that?! Wait...I think she shouted something before explosion landed." Kazuma thought as he rushed forward, meaning to try and stab Esdeath.

Esdeath casually disarmed Kazuma with a flick of her wrist, shooting his sword off to a distant side of the crater.

"I can't beat her as long as she's got that...sword....I can win this!" Kazuma thought, then looking down at his hand. He quickly rushed back to a safe distance, and pointed his right hand at Esdeath. Esdeath rushed towards him at her top speed, crossing the crater in seconds. 

But she was too slow.

"STEAL!!!!!!!!" Kazuma shouted, as bright blue energy flashed from his hand.

Esdeath stopped just before she reached Kazuma. She still had her sword. Then what had he stolen? A sudden gust of wind alerted her to just what he had stolen. Esdeath blushed slightly, and was, confused once more.

Kazuma already knew what had happened. He'd wanted the sword, but he was content with panties.

Kazuma did exactly what he always did when this skill worked.

As he waved Esdeath's underwear around, he soon began to realize, that Esdeath wasn't really bothered by what had just happened. She just looked confused. And some what amused by the effects of steal.

"What a strange ability. I think it's rather amusing, but...regardless of how amusing it is, I'm not sure why you even have that ability."

"Erm, Steal randomly steals an object from my target. It just happened to steal those."

"I see. May I have them back?"

"Yeah."

Kazuma tossed them back to Esdeath. He took this as a minor distracton as a chance to run away, as far and as fast as he could. Esdeath sighed, and snapped her fingers, several hundred icicles suddenly forming out of thin air.

She casually, flicked them icicles at Kazuma, who turned around in time to see the ice spike hurtiling towards him!

"Tinder!" Kazuma shouted, snapping his fingers in the direction of the icicles. A massive wave of flames burst from his fingers, and he managed to melt some of Esdeath's attacks away. He avoided the rest of them. Esdeath didn't let up, and snapping once more, several ice spikes shot out of the ground, attempting to skewer Kazuma's feet.

The rouge managed to avoid the attacks, dancing about as if the ground was made of spikes, which it was.

"You can use magic?!" Kazuma shouted as he continued to avoid the spikes.

"It's not really magic, but yes." Esdeath said clamly, rather immpressed by Kazuma's agility.

Kazuma avoided the next ice spike, and used another one of his skills, this time activating Escape. Kazuma lept into the air, and lightly jumped off of the tips of the ice spikes, using them as a bridge to, well, escape from Esdeath.

Esdeath was once more, immpressed by this adventurer. Once he was safe, Kazuma decided the best course of action would be to keep Esdeath at a distance. "Fireball!" Kazuma shouted, then lobbing a massive ball of flames at Esdeath, who cut them away with a quick slash from her sword. Kazuma shot anouther one at her, only to get the same result.

Esdeath began to advance, so Kazuma grabbed a few sticks of dynamite, lit them and tossed them at Esdeath, who avoided all of them with absolute ease.

As Esdeath walked away from the resulting explosion, Kazuma stood awestruck by how just cool she looked. And all of a sudden, Kazuma had an idea.

"Hey, General lady...would you like to forget about this whole thing, and go on a date?" Kazuma asked, doing his best to act as nervous as he could.

"I can sense Auras, you know. I can tell you still intend to try and kill me. So, as appealing as the offer is, I'm going to have to say no."

"Oh well. I was really looking forward to that."

"I'm sure you were."

Kazuma was pretty sure that the general had just insulted him, but he didn't care.  He sensed that she was about to do something. Something terrible.

"I think you've earned the right to see my true power."

"...Oh dear..."

"ICE STORM-COMMANDER IN CHIEF!" Esdeath shouted, extending her arm and pointing to the sky, everything fell silent.

And then she snapped her fingers.

And now, all hell broke loose.

(Music Stop)

Everything was completly frozen over, and Kazuma himself would have been frozen over as well, if not for the interfearance of a certain well dressed devil, who wore a black and white mask with the roman numeral for two written neatly in the middle.

MadWorld_OST_14_-_It's_A_Mad_World

MadWorld OST 14 - It's A Mad World

This was Vanir, one of the Devil King's generals.


"Hello Kazuma. I take you need my help?" He said calmly, grinning widely at the adventurer, who looked about as thankful as anyone possibly could.

"Oh? What's this? A new fighter?" 

"Indeed. I am Vanir, a general in the Devil King's army. You destroyed my shop. And you damaged my cleric, Wiz. For this...I'll kill you, or perhaps use your body as a new host."

"Hrmph. You seem powerful. Let's dance!" 

"Indeed."

Both generals rushed at each other, moving so quickly that they were no more than blurs.

Kazuma gulped and drew his bow. He whished that he hadn't taken this quest.

PART 2! United Devil and NEET vs General![]

"Murder Ray!" Vanir shouted, snapping his fingers, shooting a beam or light at Esdeath, who couldn't avoid, and thus took the blast head on! She screamed as the attack burned and electrocuted her. And then it was over. She'd survived it.

Vanir wasn't finished just yet, snapping his fingers again, this time summoning hundreds of tiny chibi versions of himself. Esdeath countered by summoning three ice calvary soldiers one after anouther. Both armies approached each other, with Vanir and Esdeath standing back behind their armies, observing the other carefully.

The mini Vanir's were being effectively stomped by the ice soliders, who took out five or so with each lance thrust.

"Oh, perv boy. Don't think I've forgotten about you!" Esdeath said clamly, summoning another ice solider and sending it in the green cloaked adventurer's direction.

"You aren't the only one who can do that! Create Golem!" Kazuma shouted, quickly summoning a hulking monster made of clay and mud.

Both creatures approached each other, ready to fight.

After a swift command from their respective masters, they charged!

As the golem and the ice solider clashed, Kazuma drew his bow and knocked an arrow to it.

"Snipe!" Kazuma shouted, firing his arrow at the ice general.

Esdeath turned to the sound, and was immediately struck in the abdomen with the arrow.

"What?! This can't be possible!"

"It can, when the attack has one hundred percent accuracy. You couldn't avoid it even if you wanted to." Vanir said from the sidelines, as he made more tiny versions of himself.

"Enough of this! Mahapdama!" Esdeath shouted as she pulled out her ultimate trap card. This attack froze time too a halt for a few seconds.

"This-Is where both of you die. You fought well, and you impressed me, boy. But now, you die." Esdeath said  matter of factly. She suddenly appeared in front of Kazuma...AND PUNCHED RIGHT THROUGH HIS CHEST!

She then hurled several hundred ice spikes at Vanir, then summoning her massive ice ball and cast it at him. And with that, time resumed. Every single attack hit Vanir, crushing the devil king's general as if he were no more than a bug.

Kazuma coughed and collapsed, the wound having taken effect. Kazuma Satou died, for the sixth time. He wasn't the only visting the after life that day.

Esdeath followed immediatly afterwards, as Kazuma's death skill had kicked in. The damage Esdeath had dealt, had been redirected onto her. Several days later, Kazuma was alive once more. Aqua had cast resurrection, and Kazuma came back after Megumin threated to do something horrible to his body again. His fight with the general, Esdeath hadn't gone unnoticed. In fact, everyone noticed it when he returned to the guild hall. So much that his prize money was taken due to his debut of destroying the town. Again. He had won, yes...but at the cost of all of his money, and he forced Aqua to never take a quest from the white haired woman again.

DBX!!!!

DBX Winner[]

Necro: That was...strange.

Mercer: The winner is Kazuma Satou, somehow.

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