King Ross vs King Harkinian is ZackAttackX's thirteenth DBX.
Description[]
Cultaholic vs Youtube Poop! The King of WTF meets the King of Hyrule! Which mirthful monarch will leave victorious?
Intro[]
NO RULES!
JUST BLOODSHED!
DBX!
Fight[]
Location: Hyrule Castle - Zelda CDI games.
Gwonam flew through the opened window of the castle. "Your majesty, the end is nigh!" Gwonam warned. Harkinian turned to face him. "What are you talking about?" he asked. Gwonam shook his head. "He is here! The King of WTF!" And on that note, trumpets could be heard and the symbolic cry of King Ross came through.
"KIIIIIIIIIINNNNNGAAAAAAHHH!"
Harkinian was in a state of panic. "OAH! What the hell? Who the f*** are you?" he demanded. Ross glanced up at the window. "Ooooooh! Who are you talking to like that, bonnie lad? Know your role and shut your mouth, you f***ing lowlife scumbag!" he called back. Needless to say, this made Harkinian VERY mad! "You're dead, boy!" he promised, jumping down to meet his adversary. Ross pointed his scepter at Harkinian. "That's incorrect. Ain't no way you're beating THIS sexy w**k pheasant!" he responded.
HERE WE GO!
Harkinian rushed for Ross and Ross rushed for Harkinian. The two exchanged punches that were countered by each other's. This continued until Ross swung with his scepter, clocking Hark on the side of the head. The King of Hyrule staggered backwards and used his goblet to throw wine into Ross' eyes, blinding him temporarily. This bought Harkinian enough time to hit Ross over and over with his goblet. He then began to strangle Ross and the King of WTF was losing energy quickly. After spending roughly 10 seconds in a choke hold, he headbutted Harkinian, causing him to lose his grip. Ross then threw out a shock wave from his scepter, launching Harkinian through the wall of the castle.
Harkinian lifted himself up and noticed a scepter flying towards him. It hit him in the face and flew back to its sender, King Ross. Ross caught his scepter and fired a beam of energy from it. "Enough!" Harkinian stated, blocking the beam of energy. "Who the f*** do you think you are, Martin Kirby?" he asked, not realizing that the beam was sent back at him. The beam crashed into Ross' chest, launching him back. Ross picked himself up and steadied himself. "That didn't f***ing happen, Chris. That did not happen!" he reassured.
Unsure of what to do next, Harkinian decided it was best to stay on the offensive. He used his Wine Laser and fired a, well, laser from his goblet. Ross only had one option in mind. He raised his scepter and declared to the world:
"IT'S OTUNGA TIME!"
The shock wave caused the attack to dissipate, leaving Ross unscathed. "You think you'd be used to me doing that by now, you silly pillock." Ross taunted. Harkinian knew what he had to do. From... wherever he keeps it, Hark pulled out a weapon he had not used in a long time. But you know the old saying: desperate times call for desperate measures!
"You will die!" Harkinian promised, announcing the name of his weapon. "DINNER BLASTER!" Harkinian locked on to Ross and fired a barrage of burgers at him. Ross used his scepter to keep the burgers away, but he could only keep blocking for so long. Harkinian's attacks were simply too fast for Ross, and he was eventually caught off guard when one burger found itself hitting him in the chest, causing him to drop his scepter. Harkinian did not let up and laughed manically as Ross was backed into a wall with no means off defense. Ross collapsed to his knees in pain and Harkinian began to charge up one final devastating shot from his blaster. He began to charge up the shot... and he fired a giant burger from his weapon.
Everything seemed hopeless...
the burger drew ever closer...
but a disturbance in the dimensional rift between the fictional realm and this realm caused a portal to open...
and from the portal...
came Kevin Dunn's teeth!
The burger became wedged between the teeth and did not move.
"HAO! What am I looking at?" Harkinian yelled in disbelief. Ross smirked. "Fear not, I have the true story. You see, while he was sat at his desk where he has all his buttons to cue the music for the Superstars, my good friend Kevin Dunn tried to hit the button to play The Miz's theme song. But you see, the button for The Miz's music was right at the back, and as he leaned over to press it, his two massive chompers dropped out of his jaw, as if they have a life of their own, and landed on the buttons to play Bray Wyatt's, Becky Lynch's and for some reason Stone Cold Steve Austin's theme. This in turn caused a dimensional rift between the two dimensions, and Kev was all like "Oh my God, there's a portal to a new realm appearing on Smackdown Live! WTF am I going to do?" And it seemed as though his only option was to use his teeth to try and cover the hole in reality while he fixed the music cues. Just so happened the portal opened up right here and trapped your pathetic attack." Ross explained. Harkinian was lost for words, but Ross wasn't! The portal, along with Kevin Dunn's teeth, vanished and Ross reclaimed his scepter. Harkinian tried to reopen fire with the Dinner Blaster, but it was out of ammunition. "NO!" Harkinian shouted as Ross charged at the now helpless Harkinian, scepter in hand, and letting out a cheer that shook the stars:
"IT'S JOHN O'CLOCK MOTHERF****ERS!"
The shock wave caused a pressure to build up inside Harkinian, causing him to explode into pieces. Once the tremors and air horns subsided, Ross glanced over at where Harkinian once stood, his robes, crown and scepter all covered in Harkinian's blood.
"Aye, I flip-reversed you there, you silly tart! Hahahaha!"
DBX!
