Legend of Zelda Vs Bayonetta! In this hair-raising battle between Twili and Umbra, who's tricks will come out on top? No research, just bloodshed!
History of the Matchup[]
While not having any major historical rivalries to make note of, the two actually have a bit in common. Tricks, personalities, god-fighting and sexy second forms aside, these magical gals can use their hair to attack in a combination with magic! It isn't just Mario and Sonic that have to fight in the Nintendo vs Sega battles!
Intro[]
With a slice from two swords, the spines of two Stalfos warriors are severed, and the undead soldiers fall to the ground, bones fading away to dust. Bayonetta walks away from the battle, having not even broken a sweat. With Witch Walk, she walks up the massive wall leading to the rooftop of Arbiter's grounds, eventually coming to the Mirror of Twilight... or rather, one shard of it.
Bayonetta: Well, it's the mirror, no doubt. Not to worry; the other pieces can be found easily enough. I'm in no rush.
With a bright beam of light, several sages appear around her, on the tops of the columns. Unsurprised, she gazes at them, and smirks.
Bayonetta: And I was hoping for a Lumen Sage.
Sages: You are not fated to access the mirror to the Twilight Realm, Umbra Witch. Though the mirror is cracked and awaits restoration, we cannot aid you in this quest.
Bayonetta: Oh hush now, we all know I'm going. Or do you need a little more... persuasion?
The sages turn to each other, confused as to their next course of action, for they know they cannot overpower her.
Sage: The destinies of the Umbra and the Twili are never to join, though it has become evident that they must cross paths.
(Silence)
With those ambiguous words, the Sages fade away, and Bayonetta turns to see Link and Midna run out of Arbiter's grounds onto the roof.
Midna: What? The mirror... you broke the mirror!
Bayonetta: Quiet, imp. My, what a handsome young man you have there.
Link blushes, draws his sword, and steps backwards. Midna rolls her eyes.
Midna: Can't even talk to girls. Triforce of Courage my... wait a minute.
Eyeing Bayonetta more carefully, Midna's face turns into a deadly stare. Her hair begins to glow intensely.
Midna: ...Umbra...
HERE WE GO!!![]
(Conflict at the Entrance, 0:05-1:00)
Midna fires several bolts of dark energy at Bayonetta, who gracefully dodges. She continues to dodge as she runs up the wall of the temple, up and over Midna, and lands behind her and Link. She begins to tease Link with her hands, much to his embarrassment.
Bayonetta: Such a lovely young boy...
Midna: Get off of him!
A giant fist from Midnaβs hair punches towards the two, but Bayonetta dodges it before it hits and sends Link flying off of the roof of the temple, landing with a thud a couple stories below. With a handstand, Bayonetta points Love is Blue at Midna and fires several shots from each gun; a swipe from Midnaβs hand ends the barrage, and it releases its fist to drop all the bullets it caught. The two smile wickedly at each other before blitzing each other. Bayonettaβs acrobatics are hard-pressed to dodge Midnaβs swings, but with a cartwheel out of the area, she spawns a portal for Madama Butterflyβs fist to come into the world. It hits and overpowers Midnaβs attack and sends the Twilight Princess recoiling. Butterflyβs heel-adorned foot shoots out from another portal above Midna, forcing her to dodge by teleporting to the side. She continues to dodge to avoid the ensuing stomping onslaught until two portals open simultaneously on either side of her. Closing her eyes, she spawns a few dozen twilight wolves which leap outwards, forming a dome shield of sorts and blocking the two incoming punches.
A few remaining wolves leap at Bayonetta, but she disposes of one by grabbing it by the throat and slamming it down while slicing the other one through the belly with an ice skate. With these now equipped, she shoots towards Midna, who ducks under the slash and teleports to the other side of the rooftop. Pulling a dark shard out, Midna throws it into the shadow underneath her, and the sound of a wolf howling is heard as Midna pulls up the Master Sword.
Midna: Hereβs hoping this weapon is as strong as itβs said to be.
Midna swings and blocks Bayonettaβs kicks, forcing her back. Tossing it up into the air, Midna grabs the Master Sword with her hair and extends her fist in front of her, slashing from range. Bayonetta hops over the attack and runs across the arm with Witch Walk, kicking Midna in the face and causing her to drop the weapon. With a quick dash of witch time, Bayonetta shoots several dozen bullets into the air, so they form a cross in front of her, and then lets the time return to normal. The bullets shoot at Midna, who forms a black space around her. As each bullet enters the space, it becomes coated in red electricity, and when all are in range, a twilight wolf shoots out and darts between each bullet, destroying them all. As it charges Bayonetta, she shoots it, and turns it into sparkly dust, but in slow-motion, as the bullet exits the wolfβs body, it gets punched out of the way by Midnaβs fist, and Bayonetta gets socked in the face.
Bayonetta: Augh!
She staggers and recovers, shaking her head, but Midna is nowhere to be seen. Suddenly, she appears behind the Umbra witch, riding on a twilight wolf, and it bites her in the throat before kicking her back. Scooping her up in her giant hand, Midna slams her to the ground. Bayonetta stands up but quickly has to duck under a swing of the Master Sword, which misses her face so narrowly, it nicks her glasses and flicks them into the air. Equipping Chernobog, Bayonetta evens the playing field and clashes against Midna with their bladed weapons. Realizing the sword is too top heavy for her, Midna spawns another wolf with the shackles and it grips the blade in its mouth, blitzing past Bayonetta and slashing her across the side. Bayonetta merely smirks and activates Witch Time once more, reaching out to grab and put on her glasses again, then brutally kick the wolf into a wall as it tries to make another pass. A slash carves three scars into Midnaβs body as Witch Time vanishes, sending her flying against the wall as well, wounded.
Bayonettaβs next slice is dodged via teleport, and Midna forms a giant dark spear in the air, throwing it towards the witch. She effortlessly dodges it and it flies through the wall into the chamber behind it.
Bayonetta: It canβt be me youβre aiming at?
Midna: Itβs not you Iβm aiming at.
With that, a resurrected Stallord, spear in head, rips through the wall behind Bayonetta, making her use all the speed she can to dodge. It continues its swipes and Bayonetta dodges each attack before summoning Gomorrah with a climax. The two beasts lunch at each other, and after some vicious swiping and biting, each delivers a fatal attack to the other, causing both to fade away to dust. Midna takes the opportunity for a sneak attack, but Bayonetta has none of it and activates Witch Time, reappearing behind Midna and kicking her to the ground.
With a snap of her fingers, Bayonetta creates an Iron Maiden, which eagerly opens its doors, and a few Little Devlis surround it. A Madama punch from behind sends Midna flying towards the death trap, but thinking fast, she scoops up all the demons Bayonetta had summoned and throws the ball of bodies into the Maiden, which clamps shut. Not giving her time to celebrate a small victory, Bayonetta runs at Midna and her hair forms a series of whips, which meet with Bayonettaβs fist blow for blow until one wraps around the imps leg and hoists her into the air, where a kick from Madama Butterflyβs leg sends her up into the sky. Bayonetta tries to snipe her down with a few shots from her bow, but Midna manages to teleport away from each shot, forcing Bayonetta to take a more hands-on approach.
With a chant, Bayonettaβs hair forms into the wings of Malphus, with the demon itself letting out a mighty caw before Bayonettta shoots into the sky, gracefully catching Midna in her arms. She then shuttle-loops in the air and prepares to pile-drive Midna into the temple; the imp merely teleports out of her grip and leaves two twilight wolves in her place, which bite her wings and cause her to lose control before plummeting to the ground. Midna reappears and reaches for the Master Sword, but it is shot off the rooftop by the Umbra before she can get her hands on it.
Bayonetta: Tah tah, no touching!
In response, Midna picks up a boulder with her hair and flings it at Bayonetta, who merely punches it in the air. With one last flap of the wings before they vanish, the boulder shards are sent flying back at Midna, who forms a black circle in the air and spawns a dozen twilight wolves to intercept the attacks. Midna levitates away from the field and creates even more wolves until nearly fifty occupy the rooftop, and they all charge at Bayonetta, who casually dodges them all and destroys them with a shot from Love is Blue. Her luck runs out when a few wolves are left and Midna slams the ground with her hand, creating a shockwave that staggers the witch and throws her off balance, allowing a wolf to bite her in the ankle. She disposes of it with a shot but is not quick enough to avoid a punch to the face from Midna, who then holds her in the air while the three remaining wolves savagely attack her.
A punch from Madama Butterfly rescues her, destroying the wolves and knocking Midna back, while shattering the plateau. With the rooftop now falling to pieces, Midna spawns a wolf to ride on while Bayonetta turns into a cat creature, and both run up the wall to the absolute pinnacle of the grounds, avoiding the destruction below. As each reforms, Bayonetta shoots a bullet into Midnaβs forehead, but the imp teleports away and behind the witch just in time, punching her twice then slamming her into the roof. Bayonetta avoids the next few punches and kicks Midna in the face before whipping her with her hair; Midna breaks out of the combo with a burst of energy.
Bayonetta then cracks a smile and prepares yet another demon summon. It is the six fists of Hekatonchier who come through to the world, and six powerful punches crack the sound barrier as the fly towards Midna. Midna closes her eyes and the three remaining pieces of Fused Shadow form for a split-second behind her as she claps her hands, and reduces the Shatterer of the Earth to dust in a wave of energy.
Midna: That was a mere fraction of my power.
Bayonetta: Well then, it appears this fight has reached a climax. Time to go, girly.
Enraged, Midna spreads her arms and three pieces of the fused shadow rise out from underneath her. The fourth detaches from her head and they begin to circle around, while Bayonettaβs hair leaves her body and starts to form a massive Wicked Weave on the ground.
Bayonetta: AVAVAGO!
With these words, a bright red portal forms on the ground and Madama Butterfly, in full form, rises out, eyes fiercely glowing. The Fused Shadows form a massive helmet on Midnaβs head and she transforms into a massive, multi-limbed twilight beast. Madama Butterfly begins a punch and winds up her fist before slowly plowing it forward, clocking in at 3000 megatons of force. Midnaβs arms spread wide before coming together to create a complex web of arms that clashes with and blocks Butterflyβs punch; the shockwave spreads throughout Arbiterβs Grounds and begins to cause the temple to collapse.
Putting her hands to her stomach in a circle-shape, Butterfly creates a sphere of red electrical energy as Midna channels yellow energy through her arms, and each fires a massive beam at the other, covering the area in a great flash of light. As Midna becomes enveloped in the blast, Bayonetta smirks.
Bayonetta: Let this be a lesson, girly. Donβt fuck with the light.
Suddenly, to the witchβs surprise, a spear breaks out of the blast and whips to the side. Midnaβs monster form rises out, even larger than before, and spins the spear between its arms, dissipating the energy. Madama Butterfly tries to punch again, but a force field stops her fist in its tracks and sends her recoiling backward. Winding up the spear, Midna swings, and knocks Madama Butterflyβs head clean off, sending it flying into the horizon where it disintegrates. The body falls to the floor as well, vanishing.
Bayonetta: No!
She raises two guns and prepares to shoot Midnaβs head, but two twilight wolves spawn from underneath her and bite her hands, crippling them and forcing her to drop the weapons. The wolves slam her into the ground and render her helpless to move as Midna looms above her, before she grips the spear in all her hands and thrusts it downwards. It impales Bayonetta and rips open the floor underneath her, sending her body crashing down into the depths of the prison. Midna returns to her imp form, with the fused shadows orbiting her body, and snickers.
Outro[]
As if on cue, a heart container rises out of the abyss, signaling Bayonettaβs death. Midna grips it in her hair-fist, and hesitates, considering crushing it. Instead, she pockets it, and flies off to look for Link, who is, unbeknownst to her, already scavenging Bayonettaβs new grave for weapons.