SMG4 Mario vs DevilArtemis Kermit is the fifth DBX created by Professor Mewtwo. It features Mario from the web series SMG4 pitted against Kermit from the web series DevilArtemis.
Description[]
SMG4 vs DevilArtemis! Every great YouTuber needs an even greater sidekick, and these two are the best sidekicks out there! They're stupid, they're powerful, they're the most destructive forces on the internet! But will it be the plumber or the frog who triumphs in this sequel to the greatest Death Battle of 2021?
Intro[]
NO RULES!
NO RESEARCH!
ONLY BLOODSHED!
THIS IS... DBX!!!
Fight[]
(Note: This fight will be a continuation of SMG4 vs DevilArtemis Cell from the Death Battle Fanon Wiki. Be sure to check that out.)
Somewhere in the depths of space, memes were floating around everywhere and in the center stood two Super Meme Guardians, SMG4 and SMG3. For what had to be the seventh or eighth time, the two mortal enemies were being extremely homosexual with each other as they held their hands tightly. Using their free hands they pointed towards the memes, converting them into raw energy and directed them into a single spot. The meme energy condensed itself at that point and grew bigger and brighter until it gave off a sudden flash and transformed into a new Earth.
SMG4: TWO MONTHS! IT TOOK TWO WHOLE FRICKIN MONTHS, BUT WE FINALLY DID IT! THE GALAXY IS BACK TO NORMAL!
SMG3: ABOUT TIME! (*Lets go of SMG4βs hand*) I cannot stand being next to you for this long! When I get home, Iβm burning my hand off! Also, the next time you fight some random bug man, DONβT TACKLE HIM INTO THE SUN SO HARD THAT IT BLOWS UP THE GALAXY!!!
SMG4: Oh come on, that was an accident. Besides, itβs not like something bad will happen again anytime soon.
Unfortunately, those were the very words that jinxed situations like these, and the two Meme Guardians soon realized that when they heard something coming towards them from a distance.
SMG4 and SMG3 turned around to see their idiotic avatar Mario charging in like he was going to beat somebodyβs a$$ senseless, and given that the plumberβs track record of destruction SMG4 panicked and tried to stop Mario before he did something really stupid.
SMG4: Mario, what are you doing!? Stop now before you break something!
SMG3: SMG4, I think Mario might not be our only problemβ¦
SMG4: What do you mean?
SMG3 pointed to the other end of space where another figure was also flying towards the Earth at extremely fast speeds. He was no plumber, but he was just as dangerous, for he was Kermit the Frog, the best friend of the late Perfect Cell and he was looking just as pi$$ed as Mario.
Kermit: AaaaaaAaaaaAaaaaaaaAaaAaaAaaAaaaaaaa!
SMG4: Oh yeahβ¦ that guyβ¦ weβre totally screwed arenβt we?
SMG3: Yup.
Mario and Kermit neared the Earth as they closed in on each other and started off their reunion with a clash of fists that created a gargantuan explosion. The two looked at each other with the fierce intensity that they had not lost since the fight began, nor since they were blown to the other ends of the universe two months ago. The only feeling currently in their hearts was an immense hatred towards each other, all because of the most concerning dispute in the history of forever.
Mario: Give me spaghetti, godd*mmit!
Kermit: No! You will take your ramen! You will like it! And then you will give me five bucks as payment!
Mario: Mario not going to pay you sh*t! Besides my a$$ is broke!
Kermit: You cheap b*stard! Iβll make you pay one way or the other!
Now youβre probably wondering what this is all about. What exactly happened between these two during SMG4 vs DevilArtemis? Why are they taking the fight this far? Is Professor Mewtwo prolonging the good part to set up some dumb flashback? Well, no actually. Ainβt nobody got time for that so instead forget the beginning and enjoy the thrilling conclusion to this epic clash of the internet titans.
HERE WE GOOO!
Kermit started off the fight with a downwards strike that smacked Mario towards the Earth and into the city. The plumber didnβt waver as he landed feet first and jumped back into action. He was met with Kermit flying right towards him to continue his assault and the two threw flurries of punches at each other.
Kermit: Ora Ora Ora Ora!
Mario: Mudda Mudda Mudda Mudda!
As they rapidly assaulted each other, Mario and Kermit zoomed around the city, destroying several large buildings in the process.
Mario: Oh you so good, but Mario can do even better. Super Mario pingas!
Mario tucked in before flexing his groin out and unleashing a giant Eggman head from where his genitals should be, striking Kermit right in the chest and launching him into a building so hard it made a huge crater.
Kermit: Hey! I did not give consent! Kaio-Ken!
Mario: Kaio-what now?
In the span it took Mario to say that sentence Kermit let out a burst of red energy that surrounded him then tackled the plumber through several more buildings. Upon exiting the series of concrete, Kermit threw Mario to the ground and started firing ki blasts at him. The plumber quickly got on his feet in order to make a run for it, narrowly dodging each attack as they made a big explosion. Mario needed to think of a counterattack fast and got his opportunity when he saw a Bomb-Omb passing by.
Bomb-Omb: βͺ Itβs a lovely day to walk down the road, and if I ever stop singing I will explode. βͺ
And thatβs exactly what happened.
Mario grabbed the Bomb-Omb, ending itβs song, and threw it at Kermitβs face. The bomb exploded, but when the smoke cleared, Kermit was still there unfazed by the attack.
Mario: Oh come on!
Kermit: Really? You thought you could faze me with that firecracker?
Mario: Hey! Marioβs 10,000 IQ is never wrong!
Kermit: Right⦠10,000⦠Well let me show you what a real explosive looks like.
Kermit pulls out a rocket launcher and points it at Mario.
Kermit: Brace yourself, b*tch! Youβre going to be sore in the morning!
(*Zarbon moans in the distance*)
Kermit pulled the trigger and let out a rocket that flew right at Mario. However, the plumber did not run away and faced it head on by swallowing it whole with his big mouth.
Mario: Hey, that was pretty go- (*gagging noises*)
Mario enjoyed his brief snack, but the indigestion soon kicked in and Mario felt like he was going to vomit. He coughed a bit before throwing up the rocket he swallowed which was now returning back to sender.
Kermit: What the f*ck!?
Kermit was blasted to the floor by a bigger explosion, yet he had enough energy to get back on his feet albeit very slowly.
Mario: Defeated now, b*tch!?
Kermit: Lucky shot, but now itβs time I got serious. Behold, the power of my inner weeaboo! YAAAAAAAAAAAY!
Kermit screamed so hard that he sprouted blue hair on his head, transforming into Super Froggy God Kermit. In addition, he spawned a Keyblade in his right hand and pointed it at his opponent.
Kermit: Are you ready to surrender now?
Mario: You wish! Youβre not the only one with anime powers!
Mario rapidly mashes his hands together and makes Naruto gestures.
Mario: I donβt know about that one chief.
A cloud of smoke then bursts from behind Mario and three clones of the plumber emerge from it.
Kermit: You want an anime war? Well you got one!
Kermit lunges towards the Marios and prepares to slash them to pieces. In response, the Marios dash toward Kermit and jump into the air to pounce on him.
Mario: Weβre-a going to getcha!
The frog managed to be a bit quicker than his adversaries and knocked the Marios away with a powerful swing. He followed it up by jumping into the air and attempting to thrust his Keyblade into one of the Marios, but the plumber barely got out of the way albeit he was frozen in shock from nearly dying. Two more Marios tried going for a pincer attack by charging at their opponent from his sides, but Kermit ducked just in time to make the plumbers crash into each other and blasted them away with a ki attack from his free hand.
The last Mario snuck up from behind and clinged to Kermitβs back, catching the latter by surprise.
Mario: I gotcha!
Marioβs moment of glory was immediately ruined when Kermit casually pointed his Keyblade behind his head and charged up a Firaga spell.
Mario: Ooooo⦠f*ck.
Kermit blasted Mario off him and the plumber ran around screaming as the spell had drenched him in flames and slowly burnt off his clothes.
Mario: Woo! Me pants are on fire! Me underwearβs on fire! Iβm on fire!
Seeing his opportunity, Kermit rushed in and delivered dozens of slashes before doing a cool anime pose right before Mario fell apart into a million pieces and exploded.
Kermit: Outplayed!
Mario: Hey f*cker!
Kermit turned around remembering that there were still three Marios left, but he wasnβt expecting one of them to be standing in front of him dressed as an anime girl.
Mario: Check this f*cking sh*t out!
Kermit: Ahh! The cringe! It burns!
This distraction was just what one of the other Marios needed to drop down from above and crush Kermit with a ground pound. He then kicked the Keyblade out of the frogβs hand, sending it flying into the head of a Toad that was just passing by.
Toad: Oh, ok.
The Toad collapsed to the ground and died, but thatβs unimportant. What is important is that Kermit pushed Marioβs fata$$ off of him and kicked him away only for another Mario to run up to his side and send him flying with a punch. Kermit tried to retaliate with a Froggy Beam from his mouth, but Mario retaliated by jumping into the air and throwing a barrage of fireballs that pummeled the frog into the ground.
Mario: You ainβt so tough without your stupid key! Looks like Mario gonna win this one!
Kermit: Oh yeah? Well you still have to respect my gangster!
Mario: What the f*ck does that even mean?
Kermit: It means Iβm still packing f*cking heat!
That was the moment when Kermit pulled out his AK-47 with Extendo Mags and Mario realized what βrespect his gangsterβ meant.
Mario: Marioβs weiner doesn't feel so hardβ¦
Kermit let loose his bullets and fills Mario with so many holes that he falls to the ground while the world around him turns gray and the word βwastedβ appears in red.
Kermit: And now to rid the world of hentai.
Kermit took aim at the anime girl Mario who wet his panties in fear. Fortunately, there was still one spare Mario left and he wasnβt going to let the waifu die so soon.
Normal Mario: Nooooooo!
The normal Mario took the bullets, saving his fellow plumber, but at the cost of suffering the same fate as the previous Mario.
Normal Mario: Oh look, Iβm a dead.
Anime Girl Mario: No! Not Mario! He was the sexy one!
Kermit: Really? You all look the same to me.
Anime Girl Mario: THATβS RACIST!
Angered by Kermitβs insensitivity, the last Mario tore off his dress like he was going to kill a hedgehog, changing back into his classic attire. He then charged towards Kermit who tried to smite him with his heat, but Mario acrobatically maneuvered through the bullets despite his fat body. The plumber went for a diving tackle, but Kermit flew in the air to dodge the attack.
Kermit: Too slow.
Kermit prepared to fire his gun again, not realizing that Mario had not finished his attack. In fact, Mario was making rapid air humps and aiming his a$$ at his enemy. He eventually charged up enough power to perform a Backwards Long Jump and launched himself at Kermit.
The frog had the misfortune of having his face meet the plumberβs a$$ as it rammed him through several skyscrapers causing them to collapse to the ground. Once the destruction stopped, Kermit grabbed Mario and threw him off his face and gave the angriest face his Muppet head could muster.
Kermit: You are by far the most powerful foe I have ever faced. But while youβre bullsh*t is impressive, you failed to realize one thing.
Mario: That's your a stupid frog with a small weiner.
Kermit: What!? No! It's that I bullsh*t on an entirely different level.
And with that, Kermit decided to show the true extent of his bullsh*t. He flexed his muscles so hard that he grew in size and reached All Might levels of jacked. The frog had now reached his final form: Super Kermit.
Mario: Oh no! Heβs hot!
Using his voluptuous physique, Kermit quickly closed on Mario and uppercutted him into the air. He followed it with a series of punches and kicks from several angles that were so fast that they couldnβt be seen by the human eye. All that could be seen was Marioβs body being beaten around like a pinball.
With one last punch, Kermit sent Mario flying towards a building, but the plumber wasnβt finished yet as he recovered fast enough to jump off the building and deliver a super powerful punch to Kermitβs chest. Sadly for Mario, the punch did little damage to Kermit, but enough damage to him as Mario broke his hand from the blow. He grabbed it and screamed in pain, leaving him open to Kermit picking him up and looking at him in the eye.
Kermit: Sorry red guy, but there is no beating this raw f*cking sexy. Any last words before I kill you?
Mario: How about: F*ck you!
Mario tried to flip off Kermit with a middle finger, but he used his broken hand which fell off and ruined the taunt. They both looked down awkwardly at the fallen hand, though Kermit had no time to waste and decided to continue with his killing blow.
Kermit: Cute. Ok, time to die!
Kermit spun Mario around as he screamed before throwing him high into the air where he almost reached the depths of space. The frog could still see his opponent as he plummeted back towards the Earth. However, Kermit was not going to let that happen.
Kermit: Finishing move! KAMEHAMESUCKMYF*CKINGD**********CCCCKKKKKK!
Kermit cupped his hands together to gather ki before unleashing it as a massive laser that threatened to engulf Mario. The plumber regained his senses in time to see this attack coming and despite its power Mario knew he could take it on with the only way he knew how.
Mario: Time for Mario to do something very illegal!
Mario tore off his clothes, leaving him completely in the nude and spun around a few times to charge up energy. Once he reached max power, he got into belly flop position to perform the Italian Thunderfat. Said Italian Thunderfat collided with the Kamehameha, but instead of being immediately disintegrated, Marioβs fatness allowed him to power through the blast and dive towards his enemy and at dangerous speeds. It took a while for Kermit to notice Mario approaching him, but by the time he figured it out it was too late.
Kermit: Impossible! His bullsh*t is over nine-thous-
Mario slammed down on Kermit with incomprehensible force, so much force that the Earth could not take such fatness and exploded violently taking the beloved Muppet along with it. And thus the Earth and all its inhabitants were destroyed⦠again. The only survivor of the incident was the one who caused it: Mario, who was floating in the middle of space completely naked looking quite happy.
Mario: Well that was sure fun. Now to find some spaghetti.
Mario swam into the depths of space to find his next meal, unaware that he had passed SMG4 and SMG3 who looked in shock as the Earth they worked so hard to rebuild had been destroyed so easily. Granted, it was just another day of ret*rdedness of the two memelords who could only sigh at such a great inconvenience.
SMG4: Godd*mmit Mario.
Results[]
The winner is Mario!
Previous/Next Fight[]
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Next: DIO vs Ganondorf